I was at work when I found that she had finally made it in. I had been sitting at my desk for approximately 10 minutes when one of my students became outraged at something in the readers forum. I am not a morning person so my outburst of laughter, probably before I had actually spoken to anyone mind you, was not only thought of as out of context by my employees but totally uncharacteristic for me period. They think I'm a little bit crazy anyways. Might as well keep it going. Anyways, after I explained to the confused girl that it was all in jest she fully appreciated.
So here you go, read and enjoy:
THE SHORTER THE BETTER
In response to the Sept. 24 opinion piece and resulting debate regarding the length of the cheerleaders' skirts, I have a suggestion: Stop thinking you are more righteous than the cheerleaders because you don't have nice enough legs to wear skirts that short. They're just doing their part to help the team.
I would call to your remembrance the episode of "Saved by the Bell" (season1, episode 16, "Save that Tiger") where Jessie wants the squad to wear ankle-length cheerleading skirts. For what should be obvious reasons, this idea didn't fly, and they returned to the traditional uniforms, which included short skirts. Naturally, the team won. The moral of the story here: modesty doesn't win, and if we want our football team to get into a BCS bowl, we should support the cheerleaders' short skirts and sleeveless tops. In fact, the shorter the better. Maybe if we took another inch off the skirts we could climb a few more spots in the rankings. You can't say that wouldn't be worth it.
In response to the Sept. 24 opinion piece and resulting debate regarding the length of the cheerleaders' skirts, I have a suggestion: Stop thinking you are more righteous than the cheerleaders because you don't have nice enough legs to wear skirts that short. They're just doing their part to help the team.
I would call to your remembrance the episode of "Saved by the Bell" (season1, episode 16, "Save that Tiger") where Jessie wants the squad to wear ankle-length cheerleading skirts. For what should be obvious reasons, this idea didn't fly, and they returned to the traditional uniforms, which included short skirts. Naturally, the team won. The moral of the story here: modesty doesn't win, and if we want our football team to get into a BCS bowl, we should support the cheerleaders' short skirts and sleeveless tops. In fact, the shorter the better. Maybe if we took another inch off the skirts we could climb a few more spots in the rankings. You can't say that wouldn't be worth it.
There you have it. Please do not think that that was serious. I know we love Saved by the Bell, but to actually reference it parenthetically, how could anyone take that seriously? Come on people.
8 comments:
Janna, I'm proud of your first blog post. A few thoughts.
1) Great saved by the bell reference. One of the few shows from growing up that is still enjoyable today. Tried to watch full house a few months ago and nearly threw my TV out the window. And I've watched very low quality TV and enjoyed it immensely. Rock of Love II?
2) Cheerleading uniforms SHOULD be shorter. I'm just putting that out there. I feel that we would all benefit.
3) What's the status on the ten adventures? Just curious.
Great blog, and I look forward to many great, angry responses to Jill's foray into the printed word.
darren is a perve.
but great post, great letter. this just screams everything that is wonderful in life.
i have a feeling dave nixon will see this, and he'll like it.
I would like to reply to Darren's comment that Full House is no longer enjoyable.
I would be in full agreement up until two days ago when I saw witnessed the following exchange-
Kimmy Gibbler: I just started as the writer to the school paper's horoscope.
Stephanie: What's that?
K. Gibbler: Its something that tells you your future.
Stephanie: Oh, I thought it was a telescope that could only see you.
I mean wow! I laughed good and long at that one.
Valerie's older, wiser, and higher-college-degree-achieving-(for now) sister here. Jill Crane is my twin separated by time, space, and genetics. Pass along my congratulations. Even though I graduated in 2006, I still read the DU and that is by far the best letter I have ever read.
Oh, and I love the Full House 'horoscope' line. I look forward to using that on my husband some day.
Well played and well written, both Janna and Jill. I always enjoy witty and well-deserved shots at our BYU student body.
By the way, whoever D is is a douche bag. And gay. And sucks at blogging.
So there you have it!
i always knew i liked you girls. and now i can creepily declare it on the internet and wish we had become better friends before i get married and die to the world
What I love is you guys are so consistent with your posting. Well done
Lay off, Ben.
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